Icebreakers to Help Start the Conversation
• How much do you think you’ve grown since last year? More changes are going to happen. Do you know what some of those changes are?
• They never talk about STDs on that TV show, even though they have lots of stuff about sex. Have you heard about anybody at your school who has gotten an STD?
• I overheard a couple of kids from the neighborhood saying that if you’re dating someone, you have to have sex with them to prove that you’re loyal and you’re not cheating on them. Do you think that’s what loyalty is about?
• Ms. Martin told me that there are five girls in your school who are pregnant. What do your friends think about teenagers having a baby?
• I know that a lot of your friends from work have their own cars. But they’re a lot older than you are, and I don’t want you to ride alone with them alone.
• What do you think you want to do after you graduate from high school?
• I know you would like to have a family some day. Tell me about what you would look for in a wife (or husband). How will you know she (or he) can be trusted to share the future with you?
• I heard there was a party last weekend after the game. Have your friends been talking about it? Did you know that alcohol and drugs really increase the chances of having sex and getting a disease?
It’s important to remember to show respect for your teen’s ideas, even when you don’t agree, when you talk to them about sex. Teens often try on opinions just to see how others will react. If you’re uncomfortable having the conversation, say so. Let your teen know that being embarrassed isn’t a good reason to avoid talking about an important subject.
Listen to your teen. Don’t interrupt, argue or make fun of what your teen says. These are sure-fire ways to cut off communication. Don’t criticize the TV shows, movies or music your teen likes. Your goal is not to change your teen’s taste, but to provoke thought about what he or she is watching and hearing.